Tuesday, 16 December 2008

One More Chance - I Hope!

Hopefully, I have been given one more chance to get my sugar levels down to what is acceptable for my surgery.

I say hopefully because I will not know definitely until this Friday. Kim, my diabetic nurse, checked my records thoroughly and told me that I am not yet on the full dose of Metformin and that they should be able to increase that. After that, I will be on maximum dose, a dose over which they cannot go. There will be no more chances remaining and it will be insulin. However, the doctor she needs to speak to, the one that will give overall consent was not available today and she is not on duty again until Friday. I have to wait for a phone call from her on that day. I hope the news will be what I want to hear as Becky and family go away for a Christmas break on that day and I do not want her worrying about me.

So, I am on tenterhooks until then. We did have a long discussion on my lifestyle and she was appalled at how long I spend on the computer. This was not helped, of course, by aol throwing us away and our forcible removal to blogger. I had not a clue how to go about things and it took me endless days to work things out and set up my new journal. Then there was all the hassle of trying to get my old journal transferred, that went on for over three weeks with e-mails flying backward and forwards between myself and an aol employee. Not to mention the upset that it all caused.

I guess in my heart of hearts I knew I was spending far too long on here and that it was not doing me any good. However, I did so want to get things up and running and keep in touch with everyone.

Also, I had a couple of bugs between the last time I had my readings done and the stress of my hospital check.

However, it now lies in my own hands, if the doctor agrees on a medication increase, and I hope to God that he does. My lifestyle needs to be changed completely. Kim suggested I purchase an exercise DVD for the over fifties. I have looked on Amazon with no luck whatsoever. If anyone know where I can purchase one, please let me know because I am desperate to obtain one with gentle exercises tailored to my age group. She says I must try and do at least twenty minutes per day of proper exercising, not just housework. She even said this would probably help with my arthritis as well.

No more takeaway meals as we had for my birthday, Mike's birthday and our anniversary. I can have my Christmas dinner this year but after that it is a totally strict diet regime with no extras at any time, combined with the exercise. She wants me to lose at least 28 pounds between now and April and I should be able to do that providing I adhere to what I have been told. She is going to do her best with the doctor because he is not MY doctor and is quite a stickler. However, she feels I already have enough to deal with because of my breast cancer treatment and the fact I shall be attending at the hospital for tests and consultations for the next few years regarding that and all this she will explain to him.

She also knows that I trust her implicitly, we get on so well, she understands my phobias and fears. If I have to go onto insulin she will no longer be able to be any part of my treatment, it will be strictly hospital visits only. Once again she will point this out to the doctor, because he does not know me nor my phobia about medical places. Waiting until Friday is going to be hard. But at least I have been given the opportunity of one more chance. I am hoping that God grants me that chance.

I am happy to report that my Cholesterol was 4 which they consider excellent, my kidney function is perfect and also my liver function. It is the sugar levels that need to be far better controlled.

So along with the lifestyle changes I have to make, that also includes the computer. I have been told I have to cut down my time on here and that my future health depends on it. So, my friends, in the future, the maximum number of postings I shall do will be two per week. Maybe sometimes only one. I shall comment on your journals only on the days when I do my postings unless there are special circumstances such as one of you needing my support. If ever I have anything special to tell you, that will be an exception as well.

It used to be so quick and easy with J-Land alerts, there they were all waiting for you and you could get through them fairly quickly and easily. The google system we have on here takes much longer.

This does not mean that I care any the less about all of you but the time has come when I have to put myself first. Kim also told me that continued high sugars increase the risk of cancer especially in patients who have already had it. I am not prepared to take that risk. I know that you will all understand.

Of course, I will check my e-mail every day. If you know of anyone who needs help then please contact me and I will add them to Call For Support, or if you hear anything you think I should know then go ahead and e-mail me. I will still continue to help where I can. My aim is to spend no more than one hour on the computer in the morning and one hour in the evening for the forseeable future.

On a much brighter note, I took a great step forward this evening after leaving the surgery. I went over to Becky's house. The first time I had been there in four and a half years - yes, really that long. The last time I went there was the day Nathan first came home from hospital and he is now at full time school! After that, I never went there again. I came out of that surgery determined to get there if I panicked all the way and whatever state I was in when I arrived.

I was amazed at the display of outside lights Dean and Becky had put up. I will ask her to get a picture as I did not have my camera with me. She had no idea I was going to try for it. In fact, Mike had no idea until we left the surgery and I told him I wanted to go for a drive and that he was to head in Becky's direction so I could at least see some Christmas lights. What nobody knew, and I am not ashamed to share with you, is that I prayed to God that in His mercy, he would give me another chance and if there was the offer of one, I would move heaven and earth to get to Becky. I kept my promise.

Now, I am not going to let God down by going back to the same old lifestyle and the same old bad habits. This, I hope, is my chance to grab the bull by the horns and turn my life around.

My legs were shaking when I got out of the car. I rang her bell and I heard her say to the boys that it was probably carol singers. When she opened the door her words were "Oh My God" and the look of surprise and delight on her face was something to behold. She threw her arms around me and I cried and I think she shed a little tear as well.

The boys could not believe it as they had never seen me at their house. I was able to view all the alterations they had done two and a half years ago and sit and have a cup of tea with Becky surrounded by twinkling Christmas lights. She is going to help in any way she can, asking me what exercise I have done each day and encouraging me.

She even offered us a meal there but I had to decline as I did not have my diabetic medication with me and I have to take one type before I eat and the other type after. Also there was a special childrens' service at their church and they were going to that about an hour later. I could not have joined them because of the eating and medication situation.

Becky saw us to the car and we just stood there hugging and hugging. I was so glad I had managed to do it. Of course, it was easier for me because it was dark. For some reason it is much harder for agoraphobics to go out in daylight than in the dark. That does not detract from the fact that I went there and here are a couple of photos to prove it.

By Becky's tree


With snowman friend


My wonderful daughter


I am very tired now as you can imagine, that appointment had been weighing heavily on my mind and going to Becky's on top took a lot of determination and effort plus I have to wait until Friday to find what the outcome will be.

I am off to read for a while and then, for a great change, an early night. Tomorrow is another day and I hope the start of a journey to much improved health. Please pray that the doctor agrees to the increase in medication, that I can find an exercise DVD suitable for my age and that from now on it is onwards and upwards.



  1. Well done my dear friend for getting to Beckys house, that is quite an accomplishment and one you should be so proud of.

    As for your time on line, you must put your health and welfare first. I know it is very time consuming to get around to all of our friends since we've moved. Your well being is much more important though and you must think of yourself and your family.

    I had to change my diet drastically too due to my blood pressure, it was difficult at first but I've fallen into a good routine and I know you will too. Please try not to stress too much until Friday. Keeping you in my Prayers.
    hugs to you.

  2. I have just finished reading this and have to admit I have a tear in my eye ,I can imagine how much Becky was pleased to show you over her home, and how the boys would be delighted to have you there too ,this must be the best Cheristmas present ever for you all ,you will be able to do it again now ,Your meeting today with Kim sounded so positive ,in fact thats how you sound ,so 2009 is the new Jeannette year ,Well done I am proud of you ...love ya Jan xx

  3. WOW well done on managing to get to Beckys :o) You could always try out a Wii and use it to exercise with...Several old peoples homes and care places are using them...And the people who live there love it and are now using muscles again that they haven't for years...Well they are in Scotland not sure about any in England...One place is organising an Wii 'olympics' event against other places close by lol...There must be some fitness dvd that is suitable for older people or people in general with arthritis...Two of my closest friends suffer from that :o( One of them is 47 and the other one only 38...My 38 year old friend has suffered with very bad arthritis for the last 9 years :o(

    Fingers crossed for friday

    Caff xxx

  4. Good for you going to Becky's. I can see she is all smiles that you came. You looked so pretty. Hopefully this was the first of many visits. I hope that you can keep your sugar under control so you will feel a lot better in the futute. My prayers are with you all the way. Hugs and love, Helen

  5. I take it that the Metformin doesn't make you sick? I was always sick while taking that medication - I was on the max level. The doctor didn't put me on insulin, he put me on Byetta and what a difference it has made! I'm thrilled with the results and best of all no more getting sick. Oh and yes, the sugars under much better control.

    Wishing you the best and thinking about you.


  6. well done jeannette. ive "known" you now for how long?? year? i had no idea you were agrophobic. i only started reading your journal,and never read back entries too far.im mailing you with a couple of sites i found.take care love mort.someone else who spends far more time on here than is good for him.

  7. Wow, Jeannette, you said so much. And it was a "brave" entry too, sharing so much of yourself. Now I know why you got the "Real" Award! I've got a few things to say --

    My glucophage one day became not enough. I am on insulin. I have accepted the fact. Want to know something? With insulin I have greatly improved my sugar level. It is a blessing. I know that it may seem strange to look at it that way. I know it seems sooooo scary to you, as it did to me. But if you have to go on it, just know, it will only be to save your life. If you can at all be at peace, try. It doesn't ruin your life. As a matter of fact, it has so much improved my sugar level, that perhaps I can go off of it someday. I don't know if that is wise or feasible, but I will have to ask my physician. Meanwhile, my level is almost normal again. Praise be to God for that! I'm not saying you want insulin. Fight to stay off of it. But if you have to have it, it's not the end of the world.

    Next I want to comment about Blogger. Yes, the move was one of the most frustrating things of my life. I am still having difficulties. And I didn't have long to do it, Only maybe a week or two, maybe less, as I was in Hershey with John. It was terrifying, LOL. I didn't know if I'd get my blog transferred in time, as I was having migration problems. I still don't have it set up the way I want, nor can I post the way I really want to. Last week I only posted once because it was so maddening, LOL. I am going to try to be more regular now, though.

    I'm sorry you can only post once or twice a week now. We will miss your more recent entries. They're very interesting.

    Oh, and you're very brave to go to Becky's and the boy's. Hooray for you! What delight you must have given them! Yay!!! What an accomplishment!

    Oh, one more thing. I keep thinking of something else, LOL. The losing of the weight is not that hard. I've lost about 45 lbs. since my physician told me I must to improve my sugar levels. And it hasn't been hard at all. I don't suffer. The key for me is just not to eat past my hunger point. And eat when I am hungry, believe it or not. And to eat at regular intervals. Eat the right foods, and in moderation. I don't measure. I know about what is right. I never am hungry. If I need a little more I get it. I listen to my body. I have three meals and two snacks. No lie. It's easy. I am gentle on my body. If I starved my body, I'd just gain it back. Everybody always does. Food is my friend! It gives me energy and it's the fuel that keeps me alive! i hate when I read a blog that says "I was a bad girl today. I ate." So what? We are supposed to eat! Don't do that to yourself, you'll only feel guilty. And not eat, then gorge later on. Find something healthy, then eat a reasonable amount of it. But do it without thinking about it a lot. Do not make it a big deal. Because it is not. Don't even pay what you are doing that much mind, Jeannette. That is my advice to you... It works!

    Finally, I'm off real quick to see if I can find an exercise tape for you! Be right back!

    Krissy :)

    visit my main blog: Sometimes I Think

    Hey Jlanders! Please post your blogs in the Directory of Blogs: from jland to blogger

    my twitter: www.twitter.com/iamkrissy

  8. What wonderful pictures...so happy--you look beautiful! Please take care of yourself Jeanette--you have a lot of people in your life that love you dearly. Hugs - Julie

  9. Hi Jeannette, I think it was really fantastic that you managed to get to Becky's. I can hardly imagine the joy of all family. Well done! This shows you that if you really want to achieve something you can do it. I'm sorry I did not know about your agrophobia and kept on going on coming to visit. But I'm sure yo can win this. With regard to exercise, I cannot recommend pilates enough. It's gentle exercise suitable for all ages and you can do it at home of couse. Searching on the Internet I've found this site that seems reasonable: http://www.realpeoplespilates.com
    Or maybe Mike can have a look at your local library. I'll have a look around the bookstores and let you know if I have any luck. Sorry you have to limit your time in front of the computer, but your health is more important. Would a laptop perhaps be more comfotable for you? There are good deals with wireless internet at the moment, maybe even better after Xmas. You can have it on your knies or on a small tray when you sit on a comfortable chair or even in bed. But above all, try to rest and not to worry. Enjoy these lovely moments with your family. Lots of love from Antonella

  10. wonderful pics! you & dtr look so happy together. :)
    glad you ot this appt behind you & know more. now you can make a plan for 2009.
    i've never unstood how people can post every day, some twice a day! wow! i only post wkly, altho i do put tags on every day or two, but no post. only takes me a few mins to put the tags on...as i have tons made up & in my album on photobucket.
    take care of yourself first!!! onlife life will always be here, waiting for your wkly or biwkly posts, but stay off the pc & take care of YOU. {{}}
    email me anytime, i check online twice a day.
    my best to you & your family, prayers on their way up.

  11. I'm with you..I too need to spend some time excercsing and less time just sitting. How about a treadmill? I have one but I just need to use it. How wonderful that you were able to go to Becky's !! I can imagine how happy they were to see you. Take care dear Jeannette, we love you & want you around for a long time. Linda in below freezing Washington state

  12. I'm so happy for you! You made a huge step today and sound so positive I know that you will succeed in whatever you put your mind to.

    Exercise is so important and I know that I too should do more. You may just inspire me with your new lifestyle.

    You'll be in my prayers as you change your life around. With God's help anything is possible. 'On Ya'-ma

  13. Hi Jeanette. You have a great positive attitude going there so keep on with it:) I like your pictures, too :).......

  14. Okay, Jeannette, I looked for an exercise tape for you, and found none. I was so surprised. Not only did I not find one in Amazon, but I didn't find one anywhere. In the US I found them both in and out of Amazon. So sorry.

    Krissy :)

    visit my main blog: Sometimes I Think

    Hey Jlanders! Please post your blogs in the Directory of Blogs: from jland to blogger

    my twitter: www.twitter.com/iamkrissy

  15. Hello Jeannette
    I have only just been able to comment on your latest entry. I am amazed at how brave you have been visiting your daughter's house and what a wonderful surprise for them! You must be feeling proud of yourself. I have my fingers crossed for you in the New Year with your get fit regime......I too need to lose a few pounds and that is before Christmas! I will mail you as I have some bade news. Take care. Eileen x

  16. Good evening dear Jeannette,
    I so appreciate your journals BUT would prefer that you take better care of yourself.
    How about you and I work together on losing weight? I hide mine quite well but recent viewing of the body in the large mirror has made me disgusted with most my tummy. Right now it hurts because I have started to do some sit-ups which I detest.
    My weakness all the time and of course this time of year it is so hard..is SWEETS....I am a total addict to sugar and I try and try to lessen and eventually eliminate it from my diet.
    Since hubbies heart attack we are eating better BUT the cravings for sweets drive me nuts.
    So my friend it is now Dec. 16/and my goal is to lose at least 10 pounds but preferably 15.
    We serve a Lord who helps in many many ways and He has with my panic attacks which come very rarely anymore so girlfriend lets resolve with our Lord's help to do all we can to become healthier by changes in our lifestyles and eating habits.

    Love and hugs,

    Alberta LORI

  17. Good luck with your new resolutions to change your lifestyle and exercise. I am a big supporter of people who find some kind of exercise to do--even if it is just for 20-30 minutes a day. It can work wonders for you and your health to set that kind of daily goal. I will be rooting for you to succeed in your goals.

  18. I think it's wonderful you were able to go to Becky's. That's a big accomplishment!

    Your health comes first. If you need to spend time away from the computer, than you need to do it!

    We'll miss your daily entries!

  19. I am so proud of you making it to Becky's house!!
    And I know you can make all the changes necessary... just one step at a time... :)

  20. Try Tai Chi for seniors. Its very gentle exercise and great for arthritis. I do it and can do it even on my bad days. I think you can get the CD on Amazon for ebay. I am proud of you for going to see Becky. I also spend way to much time on the computer. Especially in the winter. Easy to do when I have no TV and no book that interests me.

  21. I for one completely understand that it is necessary to change some of your priorities for better health. I hope that you are successful in this change, but I know what ever you are able to accomplish will be for the good. You look like a lovely Xmas decoration yourself in that beautiful blouse, and you and your daughter look happy, as well as your grandson and husband. They re worth making the effort for. Will keep you in my thoughts. Gerry

  22. Jeannette, I am so proud of you for going on that visit!!!! Every journey starts with one step and YOU DID IT!!!! Can you find some way to get out a little bit tomorrow too? Just someplace close by...just in an effort to keep making those little steps? The more you do it, the easier it will be...PLUS it's good exercise and that will help your blood sugar. You are in my prayers and I hope your wish comes true on Friday!

  23. Oh Jeanette, I am so proud of you. I looked at the smile on Becky's face and it is just glowing with love for you. You overcame your fear and gave your daughter & grandbabies a wonderful holiday gift..yourself. Now you must take care of yourself, I have the same problem on the computer too much...need exercise. I've found that pilates, I-ching gentle exercises that stretch slowly and gently are best for our older bodies. I'm praying for you my friend that you can overcome the sugar thing just by exercise and diet...you've got a lot of people in your corner. And don't worry if you write only once a week, we will certainly wait for you..take care dear...love Sandi

  24. Wow Becky must have had the surprise of her life! Well done. Fingers crossed for Friday Louise xx

  25. Well done Jeannette so happy you made it to your daughter's home she must have been delighted to see you. Hope the doctor gives the Ok for the increase in your meds. Good news otherwise. Love Joan

  26. I know I need to exercise and modify my diet as well. Ugh...it is so hard. My car accident sure did not help...

    I know what you mean about it being easier to go out when it's dark! Why is that....the cover of dark? The cooler air? Hmm...

  27. You look very happy to have visited with Becky and Dean and the grandchildren. This new ability to write and share photo's with people from across the ocean is amazing. However, like everything else we should use our time in moderation when allocating it. After all, it's not a job, but a form of relaxation, to enjoy communicating with others. I am starting to exercise daily as my injured shoulder and upper back is causing me pain. I believe the exercise is helping and it gets easier lifting the dumbbells each day/week. mark

  28. I am so happy to read this entry Jeannette, you have taken a giant step forward to get yourself to Becky`s house after your appointment. Your prayers certainly helped you along the way. You seem so positive about your new regime and I salute you because I know you will succeed. I would have given anything to see Becky`s face when she opened the door to you, I`ll bet she`s so proud of her Mum. take care dear friend. :o)

    Love Sandra xxxx

  29. It is sometimes very useful to take a long, hard look at lifestyle, and I can only commend you for taking some positive steps.

  30. My dear Jeanette, I am so so proud of you. You will get on top of everything. 2009 will be a wonderful year for you, I just have that feeling and will be watching and checking in on you. You really are an insperation...Much Love Sybil xxx

  31. The advise the Doctor gave you will help greatly with your diabetes and all round health. How fabulous you where able to visit Becky and the boys, I know it was scary but you did it. don't worry about not posting as much, I think we all probably spend more time online than we need to, and I know that AOL kicking us out really upset you, well our little community is coming together again slowly.

    Take care my friend


  32. Jeannette, I am so proud of you. It brought tears to my eyes to read that you went to Becky's! I know how hard i was and you made it!

  33. you can do it Jeanette..just start off slow and work your way up...treat yourself to computer time after your workouts...just think of this as a second chance..many people don't get that...

    wishing you all the very best...my friend Jen that I talk about all the time on my blog ignored her problems and is now giving herself shots and wishes that she had done as she was told while she still could..

    not trying to lecture just trying to encourage... promise...xx

  34. I hear the same thing from my Therapist about my hip. So, I am keeping my time on the PC short. One hour in the am and one hour in the evening.
    And Mark watches the clock closely.

  35. Hi Jeannette...I am sorry to hear your not feeling too good in yourself and hope you get better soon. I am on Metformin too, i take 3 daily. My sugar level was going down, then i had another family upset these last couple of weeks and my sugar level had increased, so did my weight. I am also on 2 Simvatatin for colesterol nightly and i would also like to lose some weight. It seems to be harder to lose weight the older i get. I do hope you find a DVD that will suit you and you succeed to lose some weight. I've been looking for a DVD too, but hav'nt come across one as yet for my age group (61)...it is so frustrating!

    Well Jennette, thanks for your comment on my blog, the picture is of my daughter and granddaughter, they were fooling about with my camera last christmas when i was there, i am going to be with them this christmas day too. I hope you, Mike and your own family have a great christmas...Best wishes and God Bless. X

  36. Stopping by to say hi..and what lovely photos and such a lovely visit with your dear daughter and family..hope you all have a wonderful holiday...hugs and love,

  37. Aww Jeanette, what a wonderful entry. I am only just now trying to catch up with everyone, and reading this I can understand why you may leave us.
    You must, must, must, take care of yourself. Put yourself first for once.
    Saying that though I love your photos. You look great, happy and relaxed. You're an inspiration to me.
    Take care jeanette.
    Love to you


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